For the last six months, I've been looking for
work. I wasn't having a lot of success so I took an unpaid internship doing
grant writing and blogging for a nonprofit. As luck would have it, the week I
finished the internship, I got a job offer. One of my coworkers at the framing
store had left for our parent company, Michaels, and once a full-time position
opened up, she recommended me. I went in yesterday to fill out the paperwork
and I start the job Wednesday.
On one hand, I'm real glad to have this job. All
my credit cards are maxed and even though I'm getting unemployment, I'm barely
making my student loan payments. I'm just keeping my head above the water, so a
40 hour job with $11 an hour (hey, that's the most I've ever got!) is going to
be a real lifesaver. Hell, maybe I can save up some money and even buy my
family some decent Christmas presents. I'll be doing work I'm familiar with so
all I really have to learn is their computer system and whatever minor changes
they have in ordering. I get to work with a former coworker, so she can explain
how things differ and give me some pointers. I'll even get health insurance.
On the other hand. I feel like I'm back at
square-one. I wanted a job and now I have a job, but somehow I feel like I've
settled. When I got out of college, I took this framing job telling myself I
would only be there for a little while and soon find a job in my field and be
able to move out of my mom's and start a life of my own. Well, three years
passed and it didn't happen. Getting laid off was a bit of a wake-up call. I
researched grant writing, freelance, and technical writing jobs and got an
internship that gave me some much-needed experience. Now I'm back at retail
once again. I know I should be happy, but it feels like I didn't get anywhere.
I suppose I can always work this job and keep
applying for better jobs, but a little voice in my head tells me I'm going to
be doing retail for the rest of my life. My life is passing me by and I'm not
making any progress. I haven't got a job in my field, I'm not putting my degree
to use, I haven't even written that damn book or gotten more than one or two
paintings in a gallery much less sold one.
I shouldn't complain so much. Some of my friends
have graduated with master's degrees in the sciences and have only done
seasonal work and internships thus far. I just hate having to put my ambitions on hold so I can pay the bills.
Updates coming. I promise.
Well, I get why you’re discouraged. But you've far from settled. You are getting the paycheck you need. You still have the interning experience, and you'll still be looking for writing-related work. Heck, after a little while, you could even move out on those wages (you might need a roommate, but there's nothing wrong with that... I have one!). In the meantime, TRY to write. I know you can. I've seen it. Even if you don't have the grand-master idea yet, KEEP WRITING. Eventually you are gonna find something, and the more you put that pen to the grindstone, the sooner the future will come. Maybe that sounds too optimistic (especially from me, being a pessimist), but you’re far too talented to be on the wayside forever.
ReplyDelete